Abuse of any kind - physical, verbal or sexual - at any time, at any age or in any relationship is not okay. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1 or your local emergency number.
For confidential support and information, call HealthLink BC at 8-1-1 (or 7-1-1 for the deaf and hard of hearing).
You can also contact the following services:
Helpline for Children: If a child anywhere in B.C. needs help, call 310-1234 any time of the day or night to speak to a social worker, no area code is needed. If you are deaf or hard of hearing, call 1-866-660-0505 for TTY services. This is a toll-free service, and there is no charge to call the operator if you need to call from a pay phone. This helpline is available for children, parents, and other community members to report abuse. For more information, visit Reporting Child Abuse in BC.
Kids Help Phone: Children and teens can call the Kids Help Phone to speak to a counsellor day or night at 1-800-668-6868. Counsellors are available to speak to anonymously about concerns with abuse and can help children and teens call the police or child protective services. For more information about the resources and support available, visit Kids Help Phone.
VictimLink BC: If you or someone you know are a victim of crime and need more information or support, call VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808 for toll-free, confidential, multilingual service available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For more information, visit VictimLink BC.
Seniors Abuse & Information Line: If you are an older adult who has been abused or mistreated call the Seniors Abuse & Information Line (SAIL) at 604-437-1940 or toll free at 1-866-437-1940, 7 days a week from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m., to get a referral to their legal advocate and other programs. For more information about their programs and resources visit Seniors First BC.
If you are angry or hostile or if you have violent behaviour, it's important to find help. Your area may have help lines you can call. Or maybe you can get help through social organizations. Check online, or ask your doctor. You can learn ways to manage your feelings and actions.
Anger
Anger signals your body to prepare for a fight. This reaction is often called "fight or flight." When you get angry, adrenaline and other hormones are released into the bloodstream. Then your blood pressure goes up, your heart beats faster, and you breathe faster.
Hostility
Hostility is being ready for a fight all the time. Hostile people are often stubborn, impatient, hotheaded, or have an "attitude." They are often in fights. Or they may say that they feel like hitting something or someone. Hostility isolates you from other people.
Violent behaviour often starts with verbal threats or fairly minor incidents. But over time, it can involve physical harm. This behaviour is very damaging, both physically and emotionally. It can include physical, verbal, or sexual abuse of an intimate partner (domestic violence), a child (child abuse), or an older adult (elder abuse).
Check Your Symptoms
Are you concerned about anger, hostility, or violent behaviour in yourself or someone else?
Yes
Concerned about anger, hostility, or violent behaviour
No
Concerned about anger, hostility, or violent behaviour
How old are you?
Less than 12 years
Less than 12 years
12 years or older
12 years or older
Are you male or female?
Male
Male
Female
Female
The medical assessment of symptoms is based on the body parts you have.
If you are transgender or non-binary, choose the sex that matches the body parts (such as ovaries, testes, prostate, breasts, penis, or vagina) you now have in the area where you are having symptoms.
If your symptoms aren’t related to those organs, you can choose the gender you identify with.
If you have some organs of both sexes, you may need to go through this triage tool twice (once as "male" and once as "female"). This will make sure that the tool asks the right questions for you.
Thinking seriously of attempting suicide or harming someone else
No
Thinking seriously of committing suicide or harming someone else
Have you been thinking about death or suicide a lot?
Yes
Frequent thoughts of death or suicide
No
Frequent thoughts of death or suicide
Does your or another person's anger or hostility cause problems with others?
These could include problems at work or school, problems with strangers, and problems with friends or family.
Yes
Anger or hostility causing problems with other people
No
Anger or hostility causing problems with other people
Are you concerned about self-harm?
It can include acts like cutting, burning, or choking yourself on purpose, or pushing objects under your skin (like pieces of metal, glass, or wood). People doing these acts usually are not trying to kill themselves, but the results can still be dangerous.
Yes
Concerns about self-harm
No
Concerns about self-harm
Many things can affect how your body responds to a symptom and what kind of care you may need. These include:
Your age. Babies and older adults tend to get sicker quicker.
Your overall health. If you have a condition such as diabetes, HIV, cancer, or heart disease, you may need to pay closer attention to certain symptoms and seek care sooner.
Medicines you take. Certain medicines, such as blood thinners (anticoagulants), medicines that suppress the immune system like steroids or chemotherapy, or natural health products can cause symptoms or make them worse.
Recent health events, such as surgery or injury. These kinds of events can cause symptoms afterwards or make them more serious.
Your health habits and lifestyle, such as eating and exercise habits, smoking, alcohol or drug use, sexual history, and travel.
Try Home Treatment
You have answered all the questions. Based on your answers, you may be able to take care of this problem at home.
Try home treatment to relieve the symptoms.
Call your doctor if symptoms get worse or you have any concerns (for example, if symptoms are not getting better as you would expect). You may need care sooner.
Sometimes people don't want to call 9-1-1. They may think that their symptoms aren't serious or that they can just get someone else to drive them. Or they might be concerned about the cost. But based on your answers, the safest and quickest way for you to get the care you need is to call 9-1-1 for medical transport to the hospital.
Where to get help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
If you or someone you know talks about suicide, self-harm, a mental health crisis, a substance use crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress, get help right away.
Call Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645 (4 p.m. to midnight ET).
Kids or teens can call Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.
Based on your answers, you may need care right away. The problem is likely to get worse without medical care.
Call your doctor now to discuss the symptoms and arrange for care.
If you cannot reach your doctor or you don't have one, seek care in the next hour.
You do not need to call an ambulance unless:
You cannot travel safely either by driving yourself or by having someone else drive you.
You are in an area where heavy traffic or other problems may slow you down.
Where to get help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
If you or someone you know talks about suicide, self-harm, a mental health crisis, a substance use crisis, or any other kind of emotional distress, get help right away.
Call Talk Suicide Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645 (4 p.m. to midnight ET).
Kids or teens can call Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868.
If you are angry, hostile, or violent, it's important to find help. You can learn ways to manage your feelings and actions.
There are some things you can do to try to manage any feelings of anger or hostility and avoid violence.
Think before you act.
Take time to stop and cool down when you feel yourself getting angry. Count to 10, or practice some other form of mental relaxation.
Know what your feelings can do.
Recognize feelings that often lead to angry outbursts. Anger and hostility may be a symptom of unhappy feelings or depression about your job, your relationship, or other aspects of your personal life.
Think about why you're angry.
Come up with a reasonable explanation of why you are angry. If a person makes you angry, suggest to yourself that maybe the person is having a bad day.
Avoid things that often lead to angry outbursts.
Avoid situations that lead to anger. For example, do errands at less-busy times if standing in line bothers you.
Express anger in a healthy way.
Go for a short walk or jog.
Draw, paint, or listen to music to release the anger.
Write in a daily journal.
Use "I" statements, not "you" statements, to discuss your anger. Say "I don't feel valued when my needs aren't being met" instead of "You make me mad when you are so inconsiderate."
Take care of yourself.
Exercise regularly.
Eat a variety of healthy foods. Don't skip meals.
Try to get 8 hours of sleep each night.
Limit your use of alcohol, and don't use drugs.
Practice a relaxation technique such as yoga, meditation, or tai chi.
Find where to get help.
Explore other resources that may be available through your job or your community.
Contact your human resources department at work to see if you have services available through an employee assistance program.
Contact your local hospital, mental health facility, or health unit to see what types of programs or support groups are available in your area.
Managing anger
The first step to managing anger is to be more aware of it. Note the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that you have when you get angry. Practice noticing these signs of anger when you are calm. If you are more aware of the signs of anger, you can take steps to manage it. Here are a few tips:
Think before you act. Take time to stop and cool down when you feel yourself getting angry. Count to 10 while you take slow, steady breaths. Practice some other form of mental relaxation.
Learn the feelings that lead to angry outbursts. Anger and hostility may be a symptom of unhappy feelings or depression about your job, your relationship, or other aspects of your personal life.
Avoid situations that lead to angry outbursts. If standing in line bothers you, do errands at less busy times.
Express anger in a healthy way. You might:
Go for a short walk or jog.
Draw, paint, or listen to music to release the anger.
Write in a daily journal.
Use "I" statements, not "you" statements, to discuss your anger. Say "I don't feel valued when my needs are not being met" instead of "You make me mad when you are so inconsiderate."
Take care of yourself.
Exercise regularly.
Eat a variety of healthy foods. Don't skip meals.
Try to get 8 hours of sleep each night.
Limit your use of alcohol, and don't use drugs.
Practice yoga, meditation, or tai chi to relax.
Explore other resources that may be available through your job or your community.
Contact your human resources department at work. You might be able to get services through an employee assistance program.
Contact your local hospital, mental health facility, or health unit. Ask what types of programs or support groups are available in your area.
Do not keep guns in your home. If you must have guns in your home, unload them and lock them up. Lock ammunition in a separate place. Keep guns away from children.
Getting help for anger problems
If you are angry or hostile or you have violent behaviour, it is important to find help. You can learn ways to manage your feelings and actions.
Use one of the following resources if you are or know of a parent or caregiver having trouble managing angry feelings. Actions done in moments of anger can be harmful and abusive.
Check your provincial website or local phone book for resources on getting help in your area.
Parents Anonymous. Self-help groups serving parents under stress, as well as children who have been abused, are available throughout Canada, Europe, and the United States. To find a group in your area, search online or in your phone book under Parents Anonymous.
Social service departments. Many social service agencies involved with child abuse investigation also offer services to parents under stress. Search online, or agencies are listed in the phone book, usually under provincial services.
Kids Help Phone. Kids and teens can call 1-800-668-6868.
When to call for help during self-care
Call your doctor if feelings of anger, hostility, or violent behaviour occur more often or are more severe.
Preparing For Your Appointment
You can help your doctor diagnose and treat your condition by being prepared for your appointment.
Author: Healthwise Staff Medical Review: William H. Blahd Jr. MD, FACEP - Emergency Medicine Adam Husney MD - Family Medicine Kathleen Romito MD - Family Medicine H. Michael O'Connor MD - Emergency Medicine David Messenger MD - Emergency Medicine, Critical Care Medicine
Medical Review:William H. Blahd Jr. MD, FACEP - Emergency Medicine & Adam Husney MD - Family Medicine & Kathleen Romito MD - Family Medicine & H. Michael O'Connor MD - Emergency Medicine & David Messenger MD - Emergency Medicine, Critical Care Medicine
HealthLinkBC Files
HealthLinkBC Files are easy-to-understand fact sheets on a range of public health and safety topics including disease prevention and immunizations.
