Promoting positive behaviour in your toddler

Promoting positive behaviour in your toddler

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Positive discipline is not about punishment, rather, it is about helping your child understand how to fit into the world in a thoughtful, healthy, and productive way.

Here are some tips on how to promote positive behaviour.

Talk with your toddler

  • Get your toddler’s attention and make eye contact before you speak.
  • Use a gentle touch.
  • Keep your words clear, simple and direct. Saying, “Please put that down” is more direct than, “Cut it out.”
  • Make only one request at a time. Your toddler cannot react to two or three requests at the same time.
  • Use positive communication. Try to tell your toddler what to do instead of what not to do. Saying, “Please ride on the sidewalk ” is more positive than, “Don’t ride on the street.”
  • For every “No,” try to offer two reasonable choices. “No, that paper is for Daddy. But you can play with this book or this toy.”
  • Use “please” and “thank you” whenever you can.

Provide a safe and stimulating environment

Keep routines

  • Organize your day around regular naps and mealtimes.
  • Keep to bedtime routines.
  • Balance active and quiet times.
  • Tell your toddler about any changes in routine that will be happening.
  • Pay attention to your toddler, even if you're busy.

Set good examples

  • Be calm and patient.
  • Model the behaviour you want to see in your toddler (such as sharing or taking turns).
  • Gently remind your toddler about limits - he has a short attention span and can quickly forget what you’ve said.
  • Avoid reacting in angry or defensive ways.

Praise good behaviour

  • "Catch" your toddler behaving well and tell her right away: "I really like the way you are playing gently with your sister."
  • Tell your toddler what you like about her behaviour. (Examples: "Thank you for using your quiet voice at Grandma’s house," or "I really like that you are holding my hand while we cross the street.")

Focus on cooperation, not control

  • Offer appropriate choices, usually no more than two.
  • Show your toddler how to cooperate: "I will read you a story after you’ve picked up the blocks."
  • Talk about conflicts: "I can see that you are angry at Tim for taking the ball."
  • Offer solutions to conflict: "Maybe you can let Tim have a turn and then he'll give you a turn."

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